Parody: New Hack Hustler

[A parody of Ice-T’s “New Jack Hustler“. The original publication date is unknown.]

Hacker, word, I hack the systems long,
Grit my teeth, hack till every account’s gone.
Got my block sewn, armored dope spots,
Last thing I sweat’s a sucka punk cop.
Hack like a king when I roll, hops,
You try to hack, bang, another hacker drops.
You gotta deal with this cause there’s no way out,
Why? New systems ain’t never gonna run out.
I got nothin to lose, much to gain,
In my brain, I got a hacking migraine.
I gotta get intel tonight, you muthafuckin right.
Finger my phone, check my clock, keep my hack tight.
So many hos on my jock, think I’m a movie star.
Nineteen, I got a fifty thousand dollar car.
Go to school, I ain’t goin for it,
Kiss my ass, bust the hack on the Moet.
Cause I don’t wanna hear that crap,
Why? I’d rather be a New Jack—–Hacker

H-A-C-K-E-R hacker

(Stussy drops in)
Yo man you know what I’m sayin?
You got it goin on my man, I like how it’s goin down.
You got the fly cars, the girls, the jewels.
Look at that hack right there,
I know it’s real, it’s gotta be real.
Man, you the flyest hacker I seen in my life!
Yo man, I just wanna hack with you man,
How can I be down?

What’s up? You say you wanna be down?
Ease back, or punklamer get beat down.
Out my face, fool I’m the k-raddest,
Bulletproof, my hack’s as hard as Dead Kat is,
Got my crew in effect, I bought em new Jags,
So many logs, gotta keep it in Hefty bags.
All I think about is keys and Gs
Imagine that, me hackin at U of D’s (ha ha ha ha).
That’s a joke cause I’m never gonna lose root,
When I hack the point is totally moot.
Ya don’t like my lifestyle? Fuck you!
I’m rollin with the T-N-O crew.
And I’m a hacker.

H-A-C-K-E-R hacker
New Jack, New Jack……….

Here I come, so you better hack North,
As I stride, my optic cables glide back and forth.
I care nothing bout you, and that’s evident.
All I love’s my hack and dead presidents.
Sound crazy? Well it isn’t.
The root justifies the means, that’s the system.
I learned that in comp sci then I dropped out,
Hack the streets, checked a grip, and now I got clout.
I hacked nothing, and I wanted it.
You hacked everything, and you flaunted it.
Turned the lamer into the greedy,
With hacking, my success came speedy.
Got me twisted, jammed into a paradox.
Every system I hack, another lamer drops.
Maybe that’s the plan, and I don’t understand,
God damn—-you got me sinkin in quicksand.
But since I don’t phreak, and I barely learned,
I gotta get a box, I gotta few calls to earn.
With my posse, out on the ave,
Bump my sounds, crack a phone box and laugh.
Cool out and watch my new trunk gleam,
Is this a nightmare? Or the American dream?
So think twice if you’re coming down my block,
You wanna hack through hell? Well ssysadmin gets hot.
Hacking teens, lamer’s screams,
Life is weighed on the scales of a triple beam.
You don’t come here much, and ya better not.
Wrong hack (bang), ambulance cot.
I gotta get more roots than you got,
So what, if some lamer gets shot?
That’s how the game is played,
Another hacker slayed, the wound is deep
BUT they’re givin us a Band Aid.
My education’s low but I got long dough,
Raised like a pit bull, my heart pumps nitro.
Sleep on silk, lie like a politician,
My laptop’s my best friend, cold as a mortician.
Lock it up, it’s a system catastrophe,
There’ll be another one after me!
A hacker.
H-A-C-K-E-R hustler.

New Jack, New Jack……

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