[F.U.C.K. is an e-zine that I started on January 24, 1993 and ended on January 24, 2000. One concept is that articles should be timeless if possible, so they were not released with dates. As such, the date on this blog is not exact but I will try to use a date as close as possible.]
Seems like this 100th file came much quicker than the last. Time has certainly flown by in the real world. At any given point in time, it seems as though you can measure how much change there is in your life. This figure is based off your perception of the change, coupled with what you remember to have changed. Of course, this isn’t accurate by any means, but accuracy is nothing, perception is everything.
I received a file submission the other day that wasn’t completed according to the author. I personally think it could have been released as is, but she felt differently. One thing that stood out about this article was the intense writing style, coupled with the fact that she has been reading the zine for most of its life. As her file points out, she knows the ‘old’ me, the more bitter and outspoken me. The me that wasn’t afraid to tell people how I felt. That file made me think quite a bit about the zine and where it is today.
That author writes “even fuck has taken on a new face. once a critic of Life itself, is now but a medium of rants and raves. few palpable pieces stay true to the past. the unspoken ideal. the intellectual ramblings of fucked up souls who had more to criticize than religion and relationships. whatever happened to those?”
Have things changed that much? Have we the writers moved on to take on new perspectives? Or have we maybe refined our writing style aiming to be more verbose and try to make every word count? I don’t know. I do know that I will be re-reading some of the early issues in an attempt to find out what was lost. Has the style changed while leaving the message behind? Or have we lost some of the message? It is obvious that some things have changed as new writers join the zine and others move on. Since it has been over two years since I have been in college, more of the writers I find seem to be in the working world rather than school. Has that made a significant difference?
I have been on a steady downward spiral myself. Going from 48 to 29 to 19 to 9 files written out of each 100. Moving from 48% to 9% is a significant change, and a very likely reason behind the perception of change. Sitting on this drive are about fifteen unfinished files, some sitting there from over a year ago. Beyond that are twenty files with material that could easily be used for other files. I have seven unfinished pieces by Voyager, while Demonika sits on sixteen unreleased files. We are all very passionate about certain things, and all like to express our views. So why do they sit there uncompleted? Who knows.
The material is there, the time isn’t. One thing all writers like to see is feedback on their material. That is one thing that has gotten better over the years. More people are taking the time to write and tell how they feel about the files. Regardless of opinion, if you have the time to respond, please do.
Where is the world today. That is one little thing that probably affects us all to some degree or another. Some people say things are still going downhill, that crime is worse, pollution worse, society as a whole worse. Others can counter those claims with statistics to show that crime is actually going down, that the rate of increase for pollution decreased, and that society is getting better overall. Bah, fuck it all. None of them will be a real concern in my lifetime, at least not in the long run.
The internet is the new global means for communication. Every day thousands of people flock to the net to jump on the great hype. As they do, they bring new cultures, new stories, and new experiences with them. Unfortunately they also come with sheer stupidity and annoyance. Like before, certain online services seem to cater to these morons, but they can be found on just about any service. Should the veterans of the net stop to help them? I don’t think so. Experience tells me that it is a waste of time. In less than six months, my mother has gone from being scared of computers, to owning a new Pentium Pro, uses dialup ISDN to connect to one of her two ISPs, and effectively uses the web to access information. No offense to her, but if she can do it, anyone can.
The battle for online privacy continues. Congress still wants to backdoor all forms of strong encryption, make it possible for various federal agencies to quickly tap any phone line with little or no authorization, as well as censor the content of sites to a certain degree. What the fuck? The supreme court ruled against the Communications Decency Act.. it was unconstitutional. The DEA is currently filing suit against the CIA and NSA attempting to make it illegal for either agency to tap any phone, because both agencies were actively listening in on DEA conversation. What does that tell you? That the government is still full of clueless windbags that are interested in serving their own delusional senses of right and wrong. These dumbfucks need to be thrown back into society (or jail), not be allowed to control our lives.
We still pay gobs of money in federal taxes while multi-million dollar corporations get tax breaks, form quasi-monopolies that are overlooked by the Justice Department, and the regular man lives in fear of a tax audit. The regular man walks down the street in fear of being mugged or beaten down for no other reason than the attacker’s enjoyment. Fear seems to be a common emotion these days. Instead of technology advancing in all areas, it seems to be heading more toward convenience still. Why haven’t cars advanced as much as computers? Compare a car ten years ago to a computer ten years ago. That is pathetic.
The bright side of all this you ask? Increased costs for everything, no government funding when you grow old, the chance of dying for your wallet with no cash in it, the chance of dealing with the million types of fraud that can cause your life to be hell. If you’re really lucky, you might get to enjoy a fucking barbecue with your family or friends on a Sunday. Yay.
What does that mean? Enjoy any aspect of your life when you can. If you see a chance to do something you MIGHT enjoy, just fucking do it. Deal with the consequences later. Temporarily forget about ethics or morals, there is no right or wrong. There are inadequate words to describe complex ethical situations set forth by a society that doesn’t have a clue. So try it. Whatever it is. See if you can find some kind of enjoyment in your life. New hobby, slashing someone’s tires, different sexual preference, what ever floats your boat.
That’s it. No cheerful ending to a bleak outlook on life and society. That’s exactly what I see right now, and nothing will change it by the time I am done with this file. As I stated above, I do like feedback, but let me qualify that. If you reply to my files, don’t tell me to “cheer up”, “be happy”, “think happy thoughts”, or any shit like that. That isn’t me. It never has been. I’m tired of pretending I think that way. Doom and gloom is just fine with me. Crime and chaos is a good thing. You don’t agree? Go be part of the cause of it and you will feel differently about it. The world is NOT happy. Crime DOES pay. Anyone who tells you differently has their eyes closed or is trying to sell you something.
Oh, one last thing. Your god still doesn’t exist. No matter what god or goddess it may be. To think otherwise is foolish.
F.U.C.K. Member List -------------------- (the revised 'positions' are inside jokes) Handle Position/Title Status Written ------------------------------------------------------------ - DisordeR - Writer/Editor - Active - 105 - (1) - Demonika - Evil One - Active - 29 - (2) - Rage - Strange Person - Active - 13 - - Voyager - Philosopher - Active - 13 - - Capone - Sensai - Active - 12 - - fastjack - Grunt - Active - 11 - - DropComm - Mobster - Active - 11 - - Pallbearer - Artist' - Active - 10 - - se7en - Instigator - Active - 10 - - Legion - Media Play Security - Active - 9 - - Murc - Arthritis - Active - 7 - - Illusionary - Warez Pup - Active - 7 - - Simunye - Ms. Attitude - Active - 7 - - Major - Drunk - Active - 5 - - Malloc - Evil - Active - 5 - - Wednesday - MoM - Active - 5 - - L. Humongous - Writer - Active - 4 - - SkinFlower - Chix0r - Active - 4 - - Tersian - 9to5 - Active - 4 - - Anarchon - Anarchist - Active - 3 - - Brooklyn - Badass - Active - 3 - - Death - Writer - Active - 3 - - Deadkat - Oracle - Active - 3 - - Inverse - Writer - Active - 3 - - K2 - TNo Bitch - Active - 3 - - Porno Funk - Writer - Active - 3 - - Red Baron - Writer - Active - 3 - - SickBoy - Writer - Active - 3 - - Spyder - Cynic - Active - 3 - (3) - Anarchy-X - Writer - Active - 2 - - Bluerose - Stalker - Active - 2 - - GNN - uXu Defector - Active - 2 - - Murmur - DTO Flunkie - Active - 2 - - Orestes - Black Sheep - Active - 2 - - Psycho - Writer - Active - 2 - - Styx - Writer - Active - 2 - - T. Soul - Writer - Active - 2 - - Unbidden - Idiot - Active - 2 - - zens - Biznatch - Active - 2 - - Ambrose - Writer - Active - 1 - - Apokolyps - Antichrist - Active - 1 - - C. Stolle - Writer - Active - 1 - - Chris - Writer - Active - 1 - - Edchrist - Anger - Active - 1 - - El_jefe - Booze Hound - Active - 1 - - Flood - Writer - Active - 1 - - Hackem Siegh - Writer - Active - 1 - - Mogel - FUCK Hoe - Active - 1 - - Pill - Booze Brother - Active - 1 - - Pluto - Writer - Active - 1 - - Rabies - Writer - Active - 1 - - Shaedow - Taste Tester - Active - 1 - - Slayer - Writer - Active - 1 - - Telecon - Honorary Fed - Active - 1 - - yt - Writer - Active - 1 - - Overdriver - Writer - Inactive - 6 - - Acid Warlock - Writer - Inactive - 4 - - Max Headroom - Writer - Inactive - 3 - - Morpheus - Writer - Inactive - 3 - - Disk Jockey - Writer - Inactive - 2 - - Distortion - Writer - Inactive - 2 - - Loki - Writer - Inactive - 2 - - PsI - Writer - Inactive - 2 - - Doc. Z - Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Far Reaches - Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Heather Maple- Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Joeseattle - Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Lettus B - Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Nancy Dunlap - Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Night Hawk - Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Rice - Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Shockwave - Chocolate - Inactive - 1 - - Uncle Elvis - Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Zach D. - Writer - Inactive - 1 - - Zen - Stud - Inactive - 1 - - Zippy - Writer - Inactive - 1 - ------------------------------------------------------------ ( 7 files have been submitted anonymously ) ( 9 files are reprints from other sources ) ( 2 files were contributed by all writers )
(Files written by multiple author are credited to largest contributor.)
(1) – Other handles: Damanstian, Dam
(2) – Other handles: Palpable Obscure
(3) – Other handles: Rio