#104: My Brother’s Keeper

[F.U.C.K. is an e-zine that I started on January 24, 1993 and ended on January 24, 2000. One concept is that articles should be timeless if possible, so they were not released with dates. As such, the date on this blog is not exact but I will try to use a date as close as possible.]

In this day and age there is one thing that is seemingly impossible to find. No matter how much you look, how hard you try, no matter what you do, you can’t find good friends anymore.

Of course, the definition of ‘good’ in this case can vary quite a bit. There are several degrees of friendship accepted by most people. ‘Casual’, ‘friend’, and ‘good’ friends are the easiest way to break it down.

Good friends. Everyone has one, or maybe two or more. Doesn’t matter how many you have, as long as you have one. That one person is more important than almost anyone else in this world, and sometimes is the most important.

Think of all the people you call friend, and think of how good of friends they are. Are you willing to sacrifice something for them? Are you willing to put them above yourself and do whatever it takes to make sure that person is ok? Are you willing to die for them?

In my time, there are probably less than ten people I would put in this category, and despite the fact I am not in touch with some of them, they are still the best friends a person could have.

Over time you may lose track of them, may not talk to them as much, and may have your differences. With good friends you remain friends even throughout this time. Just remember back to the good times you had with them, and how much they are family to you.

Sometimes you will have a small group of such friends in the same place, all good friends to each other. Sometimes those groups form together and give themselves a name, have common interests, and have the same agenda. Whether they be gangs, just friends, hacking groups, or whatever, they can often be much more in the way of friends.

If a group of friends that good means anything, always hold them above yourself. The needs of the many can outweigh the needs of the one. One the other hand, in some cases, the needs of the one can outweigh the needs of the many. It is something that you have to consider. It usually isn’t the needs of the one.

Honor and trust above all. Trust no one more than yourself is something I commonly believe in. The next in the chain of trust is your good friends. They are family to you. The only difference between them and your family is you typically spend more time with them.

Loyalty. Be loyal to one another. That is one trait that defines a group, and reflects on you more than anything else. If times are tough, stick it out. They will get better, and in the end, you will have those friends to help you get over it.

It is rare that you have friends worth dying for, so when you do find them, do nothing to lose them.

“Am I my brother’s keeper?”

“Yes, I am”

Dedicated to: Rob in South Carolina. Joey, Chad, Mike, Mike, and Shawn in Lubbock. Elgin, Tony, and Nick in Denver

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