#044: Fuck You – Part 1

[F.U.C.K. is an e-zine that I started on January 24, 1993 and ended on January 24, 2000. One concept is that articles should be timeless if possible, so they were not released with dates. As such, the date on this blog is not exact but I will try to use a date as close as possible.]


A hearty ‘fuck you’ goes out to all the niggas out there. Not black people. Not black wannabe’s really. Niggas are the people that talk their own little lingo, dress their own little dress, and do their annoying little bullshit. You have seen a nigga most likely. Around here, niggas are white, black, and Hispanic mostly. Of course you will see your occasionally white boy nigga here and there. Doesn’t matter what color of skin you have, you can still be one.

Walking down the mall in groups you will find them. Usually in their late teens, maybe early 20’s or so. Wearing a hat that shows off which team they like. Baseball, basketball, or football. Most of the time they have the tags still on the hat, or they wear the hat sitting on top of their head, not wearing the hat really. A few fake gold chains and other assorted fake jewelry. ‘Course, if you tell them it is fake, they will get pissed off and threaten to shoot you with their ‘gat’ that they wish they owned. Usually they wear a t-shirt with some other team they like, or maybe just a solid color to show their ‘gang'(hahaha) affiliation, or maybe it is a huge jacket covering most of their upper body so you can’t see all the guns they have. Next you have your shorts or pants being worn ten inches below the belt waste. Having the ‘sag’ is really cool and shows that you can fight, and that you are tough, and that you are a gang member, and this, and that. Once again, the shoes are another sign of who they like on TV, maybe it is Jordon, maybe it is the ‘Shak’.

I now work at a clothing store so I see a lot of the niggas and I have to deal with them. It is quite funny listening to them talk and pick out clothing. I can suggest the most butt ugliest shirt in the whole store, and say ‘yeah, its the cool thing right now’ and I have a few more dollars working toward my commission. It isn’t that easy though. Does ‘wannabe’ count as a second language? They talk like they are fucking primates, which isn’t that far from what they are I think. They can’t form complete sentences, can’t use punctuation, can’t use more than four letter words, etc. “Fu’, bra! Tha shi’s coo’” is a nice sentence you may hear from one of them. I swear it is a second language, and you must learn it if you want to deal with them. First thing they go to when they enter the store is the ‘Guess'(tm) jeans. We sell them for 59.99 a pair, and for a good reason. Because we can sell them to these lame fucks.

These ‘niggas’ are only going to high school ‘cuz they have to, and that is wear they learn what is ‘in’ and how to be cool. That way when they are working their k-k00l jobs flipping patties at Burger King(tm) they know all the while that back in their closet they have a pair of ‘Guess'(tm) jeans. Why ‘Guess'(tm) you ask? Because they saw it on a movie with ‘gangstas’ or on some lame rap video.(not all rap videos are lame…)

So you know what these people look like, and you know how they act, but do you know why? I understand clothes going in and out of style, but do attitudes? Hell yeah they do. And this is the latest(lamest) of them. Movies portray being a gangster as cool, having money, having ‘bitches’, and having power. But these lame wannabe’s I see in the mall have none of that. I have one customer that comes in occasionally, that dresses in fashion, has quite a bit of gold(real too), and always has a two inch wad of cash. I helped him with some stuff and as he pulled out the cash to pay for it, five ‘niggas’ beside him just gaped. These are the same ones that boast “Money is no object” and “I could buy 3 pairs of Guess(tm) if I wanted” and shit, and then gape when they see real money.

Anyway, if you are reading this, and think it is cool to wear your pants around your ankles, talk like a primate, and front around malls, then please get a clue. I would pay money to see someone shoot these people. I would pay more to see someone run up and yank down their pants and run off I think.

So ‘Fuck You’ niggas.

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