Rants of a deranged squirrel.

The Uncertain Future of Necco Wafers and the Logical Response

Recently, the Necco wafer factory abruptly shut down after the company sold it to an “unknown buyer”.

The footer to that image reads: “Necco, the oldest candy company in the country, abruptly shut down its Revere, Mass. factory on July 26, and left about 230 workers jobless. (Reuters)”

Yes, the oldest candy company in the country! This is history right here. We must preserve and honor it, do everything we can to preserve it, even if a tiny majority of Americans enjoy Necco wafers (like me)! I’m not the only one… Newsweek reports, “Fans stock up as America’s Oldest Candy Company Faces Closure”.

I caught wind of this several months ago, and as a fan of Necco wafers, I was obviously worried. So I did what any red-blooded, patriotic, Type-1 diabetic American would do… I bought some.

I bought 154 rolls of Necco wafers, including the rare Sour ones that are doubly delicious.

That is 33,850 calories of Necco wafers.

That is 8,624 carbohydrates (sugar) of Necco wafers.

And my insurance provider tried to tell me and my doctor that I didn’t need insulin as a Type-1 diabetic. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

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