[This was originally published in F.U.C.K. poetry Issue #23. The publish date is approximate.]
[i feel the] guilt for my
actions. did I not see her resolve? was
I scared? or did I not match hers as
I fled onward in life? [scared to give]
contemplation yielded to [painful]
decision. a forced [one second] attrition
to please her. to puppet the rest
of my life. snap judgement that
now brings pain, like the rope to neck. [will
next week]
even knowing, will i let it happen? i must
so dearly live for that pain. single voice
of unheard merit, cry out in musical hell.
why can't i
explain that i live without her, because
of my own shortcoming, not hers.
with a 'no' falling off lips, i silently
ask you to give me self again. i know i'm
so wrong, i know my pain will grow.
with that
i lost resolve
and here i'm damned. to solitude.